Magandang Simula
I love my Math professor.
Sounds unreal, right? Well, right now I do. Ano bang pinagsasabi nito? Hate ang math tapos may gana pang magustuhan ang prof nya.
I was dreading my Math 14 session last Tuesday. It's scheduled right after my Psych108 class with Sir Y_____. Unfortunately, he dismissed us on time which meant I was gonna be late for the first meeting in Math.
Humirit pa si Empee (coursemate and friend): "Hala lagot ka, baka Voltes V pa yung prof mo."
Teka, hindi ko yata naisip yun. Pucha, hindi ko pa naman kilala lahat ng Voltes V. Pano yun??? Tapos male-late pa ko sa unang meeting for this sem. Paksiyet. Dumating ako ng classroom ng medyo hingal. Maya maya, dumating din yung mga iba kong classmate sa 108. Uy, okay a! May kasabay akong mga Psych majors!
Tama, late nga ko. At mali, hindi Voltes V ang prof ko. At patay, babae sya. Babae sya, pucha. Pagdating sa Math, ayaw na ayaw ko na babae ang nagtuturo. Magulo e. Yes, I'm speaking from experience. Hindi bale na girl din ako. IMO, female Math teachers are the worst of their kind. Mahirap na nga intindihin ang mga babae, mas mahirap pang intindihin ang Math. Hindi ako feminist. At naiintindihan ko ang mga angal ng mga lalake pag more or less sinasabi nila na "women are such pain in the ass". Hindi ako lesbo at hindi rin ako transsexual (cheeky girl). Go figure.
So ayun, nakaupo ako dun, trying to gauge my prof (mabait kaya to? Mukhang masungit e. ha, mukhang madamot din) pucha, ano ba tong pinasok mo, ha?
Tapos na syang magtawag ng pangalan at magbigay ng classcard. Syempre ako hindi nya binigyan kasi hindi pa bayad e. Nagsimula syang magsalita, mag-introduce. Turns out bulok din sya sa Math nung high school sya. Sabi nya nagpatutor pa nga daw sya sa algebra nun. Hindi daw sya matalino at naging prof lang sya ng Math dahil natutunan nyang magustuhan to. Kahit bayaran mo ko ng isang milyon hinding hindi mo ko mapapagturo ng math.
Ang daldal pala ni Mam!! Mrs. na nga sya e. May tatlo ng anak. Uy, baka naman mas considerate sya since nanay na. Tapos pina-introduce nya kami. Andami pala naming Psych dun. At masasama rin pala experiences nila sa Math. More than half of the class ay hindi 1st take ang math 14. Uy, I'm not alone! Yey!
Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ba ko o matutuwa sa expression ni Mam after naming mag-introduce. A mixture of utmost sympathy and disappointment ang mukha nya. Siguro kung sa ibang math prof yun, kebs lang sila. Pero si mam, hindi. Determinado nga sya na maipasa naming lahat this time around ang class nya. Sa tingin ko, she really meant it. She was really concerned about us. Totoo ba 'to? Nananaginip ata ko.
Gusto ko ng umiyak. Muntik na kong mapaiyak. Sa tuwa.
Pero hindi lahat ng magandang bagay tumatagal. Kung may pinaniniwalaan ako sa buhay, 'yan yun. Laging may kapalit. May counterpart. At yung counterpart na yun ay laging may consolation prize and so on and so forth. Consequences and karma (good or bad) are just matters of the decisions you make. All you can do is expect the worst. A friend once told me "Mas mabuti na maging pessimistic para at least pag dumating yung bad news, mas ma-aaccept ko kasi expected ko na yun. Kesa pag umasa pa ko tapos wala naman. Mas mahirap tanggapin." I was feeling bad for him back then. He wanted to go to UP Diliman so badly but the best he got was LB. I told him that he can still apply for re-consideration and that was the answer I got.
I can never tell if I'm an optimistic or a pessimistic person. I believe it depends on the people who surround you and how you handle the circumstances that apply to you. But whenever I expect the worst, somehow, I unconsciously expect the best too. Ang gulo no? It's like wanting something bad to happen will reverse events and instead the fates will give you something good. I hope that made sense.
Sa ngayon, hindi ko pa alam. But I'm keeping my fingers crossed na sana just this once, I might be able to like Math and not come out of it feeling dejected and lost again. Just this once.
We continued discussing course policies and the like. The whole time I was sitting there I felt torn between feeling relieved and feeling sarcastic. So what am I to do now? Baka next time we meet iba na naman yung teacher. Parang yung nangyari last sem.
Tumawa yung buong class nung nalaman naming hindi pala alam ni Mam na walang pasok sa Friday. Laking tuwa yung expression ni Mam nun. "A talaga?! Magaling, magaling. . ."
She continued smiling at us as she pondered on this wonderful revelation.
"Magandang simula."
She had just voiced out the very thing that was floating through my head at that moment.
I walked out of the classroom, giddy with relief. I was fighting this urge to think about the bad consequences I was expecting to happen because of this good thing. Because for once in my college life, I was glad that I was taking Math.
Magandang simula.
Sounds unreal, right? Well, right now I do. Ano bang pinagsasabi nito? Hate ang math tapos may gana pang magustuhan ang prof nya.
I was dreading my Math 14 session last Tuesday. It's scheduled right after my Psych108 class with Sir Y_____. Unfortunately, he dismissed us on time which meant I was gonna be late for the first meeting in Math.
Humirit pa si Empee (coursemate and friend): "Hala lagot ka, baka Voltes V pa yung prof mo."
Teka, hindi ko yata naisip yun. Pucha, hindi ko pa naman kilala lahat ng Voltes V. Pano yun??? Tapos male-late pa ko sa unang meeting for this sem. Paksiyet. Dumating ako ng classroom ng medyo hingal. Maya maya, dumating din yung mga iba kong classmate sa 108. Uy, okay a! May kasabay akong mga Psych majors!
Tama, late nga ko. At mali, hindi Voltes V ang prof ko. At patay, babae sya. Babae sya, pucha. Pagdating sa Math, ayaw na ayaw ko na babae ang nagtuturo. Magulo e. Yes, I'm speaking from experience. Hindi bale na girl din ako. IMO, female Math teachers are the worst of their kind. Mahirap na nga intindihin ang mga babae, mas mahirap pang intindihin ang Math. Hindi ako feminist. At naiintindihan ko ang mga angal ng mga lalake pag more or less sinasabi nila na "women are such pain in the ass". Hindi ako lesbo at hindi rin ako transsexual (cheeky girl). Go figure.
So ayun, nakaupo ako dun, trying to gauge my prof (mabait kaya to? Mukhang masungit e. ha, mukhang madamot din) pucha, ano ba tong pinasok mo, ha?
Tapos na syang magtawag ng pangalan at magbigay ng classcard. Syempre ako hindi nya binigyan kasi hindi pa bayad e. Nagsimula syang magsalita, mag-introduce. Turns out bulok din sya sa Math nung high school sya. Sabi nya nagpatutor pa nga daw sya sa algebra nun. Hindi daw sya matalino at naging prof lang sya ng Math dahil natutunan nyang magustuhan to. Kahit bayaran mo ko ng isang milyon hinding hindi mo ko mapapagturo ng math.
Ang daldal pala ni Mam!! Mrs. na nga sya e. May tatlo ng anak. Uy, baka naman mas considerate sya since nanay na. Tapos pina-introduce nya kami. Andami pala naming Psych dun. At masasama rin pala experiences nila sa Math. More than half of the class ay hindi 1st take ang math 14. Uy, I'm not alone! Yey!
Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ba ko o matutuwa sa expression ni Mam after naming mag-introduce. A mixture of utmost sympathy and disappointment ang mukha nya. Siguro kung sa ibang math prof yun, kebs lang sila. Pero si mam, hindi. Determinado nga sya na maipasa naming lahat this time around ang class nya. Sa tingin ko, she really meant it. She was really concerned about us. Totoo ba 'to? Nananaginip ata ko.
Gusto ko ng umiyak. Muntik na kong mapaiyak. Sa tuwa.
Pero hindi lahat ng magandang bagay tumatagal. Kung may pinaniniwalaan ako sa buhay, 'yan yun. Laging may kapalit. May counterpart. At yung counterpart na yun ay laging may consolation prize and so on and so forth. Consequences and karma (good or bad) are just matters of the decisions you make. All you can do is expect the worst. A friend once told me "Mas mabuti na maging pessimistic para at least pag dumating yung bad news, mas ma-aaccept ko kasi expected ko na yun. Kesa pag umasa pa ko tapos wala naman. Mas mahirap tanggapin." I was feeling bad for him back then. He wanted to go to UP Diliman so badly but the best he got was LB. I told him that he can still apply for re-consideration and that was the answer I got.
I can never tell if I'm an optimistic or a pessimistic person. I believe it depends on the people who surround you and how you handle the circumstances that apply to you. But whenever I expect the worst, somehow, I unconsciously expect the best too. Ang gulo no? It's like wanting something bad to happen will reverse events and instead the fates will give you something good. I hope that made sense.
Sa ngayon, hindi ko pa alam. But I'm keeping my fingers crossed na sana just this once, I might be able to like Math and not come out of it feeling dejected and lost again. Just this once.
We continued discussing course policies and the like. The whole time I was sitting there I felt torn between feeling relieved and feeling sarcastic. So what am I to do now? Baka next time we meet iba na naman yung teacher. Parang yung nangyari last sem.
Tumawa yung buong class nung nalaman naming hindi pala alam ni Mam na walang pasok sa Friday. Laking tuwa yung expression ni Mam nun. "A talaga?! Magaling, magaling. . ."
She continued smiling at us as she pondered on this wonderful revelation.
"Magandang simula."
She had just voiced out the very thing that was floating through my head at that moment.
I walked out of the classroom, giddy with relief. I was fighting this urge to think about the bad consequences I was expecting to happen because of this good thing. Because for once in my college life, I was glad that I was taking Math.
Magandang simula.
